considering the lack of entries in 6 weeks, it’s safe to say this path has gotten quite consuming.

the move is finally over. (for the most part)
i must say i hope there isn’t another move for a very long time.
moving while pregnant – NEVER again.

unfortunately the move was truly exhausting & stressful.
not only were we stressed to get out in record time, but also hit a financial slump in the midst of all of it, most likely DUE to the distraction of the move ITSELF.
needless to say, emotions were running rampant & out of control for all of us.
aside from the emotional weight dancing through the dust particles circling the frenzy, the physical drain was a brand new experience.

they tell you not to “strain yourself” & that you should “take it easy” and you think it’s just because you’re in a delicate time and what-not. but your body really doesn’t let you get away with doing everything you were able to before embarking on this journey. physical activity all day without a break in the middle actually HURTS towards the end of the day. there’s been moments where i would weep over the pain. (weep emotionally, too, of course)

plus, it’s hard to watch your strong, willing, & patient man push himself to the limits of handling almost the entire move, while you just CANNOT help as much as you wish you could & you know his torn ligament must be aching. it tears you up inside.
SO we both pushed ourselves to our own limits, we both hurt & wept, we grew weary & hungry, we slept little & bickered often. and these moments are merely just leaves from the enormous, continuously growing tree of life. it feels to huge at the time, the moment you’re in…soon enough, though, our eyes open wider & there is much more to be seen. to live. to feel.

i don’t know that that will ever change how deep we jump into our moments. even though we become more and more conscious as we grow, sometimes you just can’t help but put your soul into the matter at hand. i am okay with this. i won’t be heartless & i don’t want to be.

but OH, dear friends, we’re here. as the bank account starts to balance up and the baby grows bigger & heavier, we settle into our new home. our first home that we’re making as family.
and i find myself, still, on the path. i am still on it, i just got distracted by the snowfalls, icy roads, leaves falling, & shiny stars.

after a lovely mediation (inspired by Ivy) in what is to be the baby’s room very soon: i brought my focus back. found myself on the same path i’ve been on, cleared the roads and fog to see some of that path ahead. i’ve said it before & will say it many more times i’m sure: the StRaiGht N naRROw is an adventure of it’s own. it’s a beautiful life. imagine living it while creating it.
sometimes it is so beautiful & i cannot contain all the love inside of me and i just want to burst. i cry for the beauty & the feeling of amazement with the life we’ve all been blessed with.

i only hope to spread the love & peace. i will not be selfish. i will be open. i will be one heck of a mother.