let the record show that five weeks have passed since i last posted, therefore canceling out the idea of these entries serving as a portal into my daily life. we fast forward to the approach of spring and a cross-country journey via train. the journey of a strong husband traveling three days to join forces with his wife and precious daughter… he left this morning before i had even left for work and i cannot stop the anxiety nor the thrill running through my body. he is scheduled to arrive early friday morning. we will pick him up, go look at a few apartments, and then prepare for our daughter’s little birthday party on saturday. it is a small gathering, just close friends and birthday cake for a few hours. there will still be much to be done this weekend. it is not as if we can just relax and enjoy the weekend in the bliss that will be our union, we will hunt for a home together as i have been for nearly a month now. i would rather attempt to relax with my family when i am not homeless anyway. i must say that i am surely looking forward to having him here with me. it always feels better, stronger – when you are with your team, does it not?

it has not gotten too much easier to cease being a mommy while i go off to work. they all keep saying it will. i think about her all day and find that i am not completely “back in the game” yet; although i will not admit that to anyone. i do believe that i am strong enough, however, to keep moving forward and make my life happen.

i am so very grateful to my large family out here that has stepped up to the plate and have helped immensely and some even taking care of me better than i have been taking care of myself as of late. the love everyone has shown s.l. is truly overwhelming and it is truly emotional to witness her life unfold and feel how she is already touching those around her. she is the most beautiful being i have ever seen.

there is a digital camera somewhere in this apartment with recent pictures – i am sorry to say that i have not spotted the cable and i am afraid this entry shall be posted with no pictures. my apologies.

let the next entry reflect this family as reunited!